sick of my demons

everyone has them. but mine seems to be reigning supreme in this dark room at the back of my mind.

i'm sick of them, sick!

everytime i feel like i'm onto something or i can achieve something, they gun down whatever self-worth i have with snide hurtful remarks that i can't, or scream out whatever points that i'm lacking in.

i have a self-esteem the size of a pea. sliced into 318 parts.

these demons, they're bringing me down, reducing me into nothingness. eating me up, gnawing away at my self-confidence till i feel kicked in the stomach & my heart shriveling up like a piece of chewing gum by the sidewalk, useless.

i can't even achieve simple tasks i set myself to these days. a pathetic creature, i am.

even as i'm sitting here, typing away, i'm not sure who's typing, these demoralizing demons inside of me, or lisa, whoever that is. hell, what if lisa doesn't exist? what if i'm just a mere figment of imaginary, a speck of dust floating by, insignificant.

okay, i've gone nuts. call the asylum.

but seriously, acknowledging a problem. that's the first step.

and let me say it loud, say it proud : I HAVE A SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES !

i seriously do. and i have to do something about it, fast. before it eats me up inside.

i need to stop being a loser. period. i'm tired of being a loser. i need to win my life back.

HELP!